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Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Happiness and pleasure (sexual) —How we respond to them

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Have you ever wondered how, as a people, we fundamentally express happiness, or react to pleasure?  Is laughter or laughing the way? Anyway, the saying is: “The mouth does not laugh at or for something good.” Well, upon reflection, it would be seen, fundamentally, we express happiness and react to pleasure by ‘crying’—crying in its different forms (especially for those who have come of age). As human beings, when we are sad, we cry; when we are happy or having pleasure, we cry. Miserable beings we seem to be. Can this be traced back to our rudimentary stage of evolution as a species? 

There are different forms of crying as relate to happiness and pleasure. There is crying with tears when sad. There is crying with tears when happy, as in shedding tears of joy. There is crying in wailing or shouting as in sports fans celebrating a score or a victory. There is crying as in moaning when the taste of food or drink is good; and when a massage feels good or when we stretch ourselves and it feels great. And of course, crying associated with sexual pleasure—which ranges from groaning to erotic moaning, to wailing and screaming.

Sexual cry is the ultimate cry of pleasure. Although, different individuals have different ways they cry to this pleasure, ultimately, the degree of it, is a representation of the intensity of the pleasure. Sexual cry is but a way of savoring pleasurable sensations of sex. A way of letting go off any inhibition—in our bodies or persons—to be immersed or taken over by this pleasurable sensation, so as to maximally enjoy it. Some will start crying in anticipation as the pleasure builds up. For some, the intensity of crying increases in tandem with that of pleasure, and together crescendo in an explosion of sexual ecstasy.  According to Barry Komisaruk, a neuroscientist and the author of The Science of Orgasm: “Sex sounds are a physiological response to exertion.”  So, in essence, during sex, pressure is pleasure.

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Furthermore, sexual cry, in addition to it being a way of expressing pleasure and enjoyment, serves as a form of communication between partners.  If a partner gets excited hearing a shout during sex, they will be encouraged to do what they have been doing, and to do it more.

However, it is important to know that not every cry during sex is authentic as a manifestation of pleasure and enjoyment.  There are those which are fake, especially by women. They, women, have been found to do this for two main reasons: to end sex, and to give ego boost to their partners.

Although not everyone is erotic moany (“silent sexers”), and therefore not vocally porny; those who are (‘screamers”), and suppress the cries because they don’t want to be seen to lose control or let out their vulnerabilities, don’t savor this pleasure as much as they should compared to those who do not suppress it. According to Barbara Carrellas, a sex educator and the author of Urban Tantra, although not everyone makes sex sounds, it however adds so much to the erotic experience. And that, if one is not making sound, one is probably not breathing very much, which is absolutely critical for an expanded orgasmic experience. “All sex is about energy”, she went on to say, “and sound brings energy”.

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Maa Touray

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