By Batou Saidy
In life, there are so many delicate, double-edged, complex, mysterious, oftentimes quite simple things that are buried in the very core, in the very DNA of pretence and silence.
Largely, most of these things are handled as if they don’t matter at all. Masses, societies and families are treated to accept that they’re normal – that they in fact, happen.
Many believe that life’s a journey. But a journey whereby mistakes are regarded as failures, missed chances and off targets are regarded as naivety and under-par ambition; some things must be amiss. Those things are what I’m gonna tell you.
Now, before going further, I wanna tell you that I miss y’all. I know y’all miss me in return. Don’t worry, I’m here again. I’ve come back from where grotesque circumstances hiatused me. It’s okay, come with me, anyway, while I tell you some of the realities of life that people hardly talk about.
In a life where success is measured according to the amount of wealth one acquires, money becomes the tool that enslaves everybody. Money is the master and we all are slaves of it. Ridiculous and vulgar, right? Well, that’s the reality – even though it’s unspoken! Nowadays, money matters more than any other thing of value – more than even the very person under whose possession it’s in.
Nowadays, whenever there’s an occasion that needs or demands money, do know that your presence comes next to money in the pecking order of importance and need. Probably, no one would tell you this, yet, it remains the reality. This is an unavoidably untold reality of life that deserves utmost cognizance.
Although nobody would readily go on to break the peaceful avenue of silence to actually tell you that your demeanor says a lot about how they take you to be, treat you, or how they even go on with you, but in reality, your demeanor is a great player of your social connections, and even an influencer of your relationships to a fair degree. Psychologically, large number of people tend to be associated with those of serene, approachable and sociable demeanors than those of those other kinds.
Preferences change with age
In life, nothing stays in tact, at least not to my little knowledge. As you grow up, your preferences change along the way, too. Maybe when you were young, when you were embracing manhood from childhood, you’d a love or fetish for a certain circle of things that you no longer hold love or fetishes for. Perhaps, as a boy, you fall for structure and facial beauty in a girl. And maybe now, you’re attitude-driven or piety-admiring. And maybe the reverse too, or anything in between. This is life. Such is choice.
Casanovas are more respected than harlots
In an egocentric life where gender dominance has always been skewed to the male side, there is bias even in terms of character and treatment. This is real. Sadly, a man who has a lot of flings and sexcapades with a lot of women, is often respected than a woman who allows another lot of men to embark on a manly journey of satisfaction down in her fine china. While they’d call the former ‘brave’, they’d go on to call the latter names like: bitch, dog, slut, prostitute and so on. It’s not fair. Is it?
Allusion of choice is a feasible psychological trick
This trick of Psychology works on almost everybody. Naturally, people tend to accept easier requests and demands more readily than harder ones. So if you’re asking a favor from someone, initially ask for a greater one, if they don’t meet that, then say your actual thing that you want. Naturally, that’s what they’d do. It’d still be a win situation for you.
Love is a misconception
In assumption, in reality, love is clothed in misconception. This misconception is largely consolidated with lust. The belief and expectation that whenever you love somebody, they’ve to reciprocate that love is a gross mistake, if not ill-thought or a sheer misconception! Sometimes, some of these things aren’t actually love, rather, they’re lust. Although love doesn’t discriminate, it takes a bit of a reasonable and sensible time to develop, not just like that. These among many healthy reasons often tempt people into saying love’s in the world of non-existence!
The poor are more concerned about what people say about them
Poverty is such that, it’s come with insecurity and worry. Poor people constantly fight for good reputation and acceptance in society, and in doing so, they very much care about what people say about them. Obsession.
Contrariwise, people of affluence hardly care. They don’t have that time of pleasing everyone. Do they? They’re concerned about multiplying their cash and swelling their bank accounts. Isn’t it? In Mandinka lingo, there’s an adage that’d translate to: ‘Poverty is not a compound, it’s a place meant for spending the afternoon.’ For that, I presume you’d wanna engage yourself in a mental mission of decoding that sentence of nuanced Mandinka.
My expedition of the life realities that are hardly talked about, continues. My delving into intrinsic life issues and matters that are shrouded in sheer pretence and somber silence, deepens. I know that you’ve waited for this part ecstatically. Don’t worry, it’s come your way, finally. Come with me. Here we go.
Karma isn’t always real
Karma, the belief that what goes around comes around, isn’t always real, at least not to how we expect it. Holding the belief that, if one does bad, bad will befall them in return, vice versa; whether immediately, or later on, isn’t always the case. It doesn’t always happen like that, like how one wishes, wants or expects it to happen. It may not even happen at all. After all, this belief is vague and clichéd. So, it’s high time one started believing that, what goes around doesn’t always come around, at least not to the way one thinks it would.
Dogs are more loyal than some humans
The animal in question is believed to be largely unpleasant, but in unpleasant circumstances, it’s just so loyal and protective. Dogs always stand by their masters, in every thick and thin, high and low, through and across every adversity. Unlike cats and politicians, extensively to certain circles of people like fake friends, some blood relations, spouses, business partners, so on and so forth; who’d occasionally go on to betray you or plan your downfall, or even plunge your doom, honestly, sadly, dogs are more loyal than humans.
Their loyalty is unconditional. Mostly, in times of crises or situations of life and death, a dog is killed first before its master. Contrariwise, give humans your heart, they’ll break it. Give them your love, they’ll throw it away. Entrust them with your wealth, they’ll loot you. Give them your life, they’ll end it. For that, even though dogs will continue to be dogs, they surpass certain people loyalty-wise.
Parenting is better than parentage
Parentage is a common blessing that comes as a reward for engaging in what brings a baby to the world. It’s common in the sense that, almost every man and woman can be a parent supposed impotence or barrenness doesn’t engulf their marriage, provided the latter hasn’t hit menopause. For this, for its apparent generality, it’s not as important as parenting.
Parenting on the other hand is so special. It’s better than parentage. The fact that not everyone who has the reproductive strength to be a parent can actually go on to give a good parenting to their kids, parenting outgains parentage in terms of betterment. This is why many people even think that a good parenting can’t be accomplished without the help of other factors. Say family, society, environment, school, et cetera, the heart always dances to the melodies of truth.
Money is the root of all evils
Cognizant of its explicitness and precision, money does a lot of harms alongside the goods. It’s the root of every evil one can imagine. It has influence, command, authority and all the other indispensable factors of evil causation. You’d need it if you’d want to murder someone. You’d need it if you’d do terrorism. You’d need it if you’d overthrow a leadership. In what other evil does money act as a spectator ion?
Everyone is nameless at birth and upon death
birth. The same is true upon death. Whenever there comes a newborn, people call it ‘baby’. Until after a certain ceremony, that little human figure remains being called a ‘baby’. No name yet. And whenever one dies, they’re called ‘the death’. Sadly, suddenly, people hardly refer to them by their names that have probably been of fame and influence at a certain period in their lives. Even your own family, kids and spouse would call you ‘the death’. Humanity is cruel and mysterious, at times. Isn’t it?
Empathy propositions sympathy and they turn into a pity
Empathy connived with sympathy, they conspired against people, situations and events, turning everything into a pity. Nowadays, people have very little or no sympathy for one another. Empathy is deceased. Sympathy made love to it and buried it impurely. At the end, it’s just a mere pity. Ask pity, it’ll tell you the rest.
In reality, just very few people actually care about you
This is weird, right? Well, weird things also exist. And without any pretence and interest, honestly, just very few people care about you in reality. The big deal is to find out who those people actually are, from the large mix of people that surround you. You may have three or four-digit number of contacts, but among all those, just few people actually care about you. Probably you’re aware of this. Maybe you’re fighting with your thoughts over it. Either way, this is the reality.
A family enemy is also an anemy
Sometimes, it’s very hard to know who exactly your enemies are. Sometimes, it takes time to actually figure out who these people are. Enemies are very colorful. They’re camouflaging. They often wear disguise. But despite what, an enemy, whether from your family or outside your family subset, is an enemy. Actually, it’s painful to have an enemy from your own family, but truly, a family enemy is also an enemy.