Dear Rohey, thanks for deceiving me


By Baboucarr Camara,
HR Manager, GFF

Dear Rohey Sumbundu, as I scroll through my Facebook feeds Thursday morning, I came across a simple but heartbroken phrase that read: “I got married”. At first I had to rub my eyes to be certain that I was not slumbering, but no, it was too early for me to even think of a nap at work. I called a former colleague who confirmed to me that the news was indeed real and not one of those Trump would brand as fake. After the news sank in, I began to analyse why, I, your so-called darling, was neither invited to nor extended the courtesy of being informed about your wedding.

First, the feeling of a gobsmacked man who felt deceived and abandoned by a beautiful angel who had always called him darling since we first met at the Observer for the first time four years ago. However, while I sarcastically thank you for deceiving a perfect gentleman of my stature, I take solace in the consolation that someone dear to my heart has finally decided to quit the growing list of my unmarried friends and will henceforth carry MRS in front of her name.


My Dear Rohey, you’re so dear to me that I cannot be angry because I couldn’t begin to imagine you being my foe. The saddest part is that a lady called Isatou Yarboe will now be basking in celebration that you’ve finally decided to dump me for another man you deemed a better suitor. However, I can always take consolation in the knowledge that I can always lean on the shoulders of Manyima while I wept in agony. But Mariama Samateh and Isatou Camara wouldn’t even allow me to shed a tear for they will insist it’s not worth it because I deserved better.

My worry now is how I would face up to my friends Hatab Fadera and Famara Fofana. And my big brother Bakary Jammeh will always attempt, in vain, to cajole me into finally accepting the proposal of the ‘suruwa muso’ that I personally requested because Lamin Kabba Bajo will frown at the idea. In all these, however, there is only one winner in Lamin Jassey. However, Lamin Drammeh Habibi Faal and Omar Jatta wouldn’t be sad either.

While I once again wish you a happy married life and pray that you stick together for better and for worse, in wealth or in poverty until death do you apart, I am leaving you and your conscience to be the judge for your decision has condemned me to the unenviable mercy of my greatest adversary Njundu Drammeh!