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Saturday, May 21, 2022

The untold realities of life

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In this green earth of God, virtually all the realities, whether talked about or snubbed, are part of life. But the very ones that are part and parcel of life are sometimes disregarded, whether out of pretence, silence or ignorance.

Anyway, as we are now getting into the real meat and drink of this Untold Realities Of Life, I’ll accompany you to treat yourselves to this very sumptuous and delicious series.

So, once again, welcome to my show.

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Family marriage is a risk

For the fact that marriage remains a very noble institution since the creation of man, hitherto, its importance are myriad. But in as much as it encompasses a vast array of importance, certain forms of it are quite risky. Risky in the sense that, if things go well, they do well; and vice versa. So the doubt is whether things will not actually go amiss. That doubt is what pinpoints the said risk. Call it potential risk if that pleases you, but the risk has to be exposed, at least to a fair degree.

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Aside all the risks involved, family marriage is sometimes even the best option, because at times, nothing feels nicer and more comfortable than one of your own kind. But, in return, nothing hurts more than what your own kind hurts you.

Although no one ever thinks about a divorce in their marriage, but whenever it happens, if things aren’t thoughtfully and considerately sent into a behind-the-closed-doors peaceful discussion for a reunion, and elders of the families involved don’t stand up for reuniting the couple involved; the likelihood of a family division is very high. And if that family division eventually happens, the beginning of another rancor between the two families will be on the go. That being said, family marriage is a risk.



Rich sons are often more respected than their fathers

If anyone says that money isn’t everything, they perhaps still don’t understand what they mean. Wealth, I mean material wealth: money, is that one thing; whereby when you possess it, every other thing comes around and surrounds you. The breakdown of that every other thing range from respect, influence, friends, connections, power to admiration; but most importantly, respect itself.

It’s apparent that some people have more respect from societies and within their family than their fathers for the simple reason that they’re wealthier. Let there come a naming ceremony, babies would be named after them at the snub of their living fathers. Let there come a “Gamo”, the news would be extended to them whereas their fathers would be snubbed.

It might not necessarily be that they’re more religiously inclined or whatsoever, but the simple fact that something is expected from them. That something is money. Sometimes, people don’t even respect the person under whose possession the money is, they rather respect the money itself.

Honestly speaking, money can do things. It’s just up to the possessors to decide what and what not to do by living in their own little wealthy world with supreme humility.


If education is the key to success, money is the padlock

Back in junior school, many have been convinced that the key to success is education. Whether due to naivety or ignorance, many of us bought that assertion. But maybe that was some sort of academic encouragement. Unless you want to extricate and loosen monetary success from the universal set of success, money is the bedrock, shield and core of success itself.

If truly education is the key, then certainly money is what that key can open. The padlock has to be money. On the grounds that this said key in education cannot go without money, on the basis that even if one gets that education, they still work to acquire money before they can even think of investing elsewhere; on that solid and credible grounds, if the key to success is education, then money is the padlock itself.

One can believe that education can facilitate the journey to success, and eventually help one along the success journey and thereabouts, and not the other way round. But, we’ve also seen people who have registered tremendous successes without education, at least not the way we expect it. Haven’t you heard about Basiru Jawara?

Perhaps people’s perception about success should be relooked again from a very fair and clean angle that’s completely devoid of imposed or suggested sentiments. But of course not confusing anyone, education is very good. Ignorance is so expensive. Even though there are many ways of skinning a goat, you’ll never regret being educated. But in as much as you need education, it’s money that you need first to get that education, and it’s that same money you look for when you attain that education. So if you tell me education is the key to success, I’ll tell you money is the success itself.


Instincts mostly win over common sense

Instincts, the natural reaction to things, scenarios, events and situations in relation to specific external stimuli are mostly true in relation to common sense under the same metrics.

Let’s bring a scenario-based real life example. Supposed you just alighted from a vehicle, heading towards your home street, you saw kids playing around. But among those kids, there were slightly bigger ones who had a fight. You separated and calmed them. But as you set to go, one of the two kids picked up a big stone to hit the other.

This is the moment where the mental battle would start in your head: instincts would tell you that he’d hit the target with the stone even from the madness written down on his face, but common sense would rather tell you, no, kids cannot hit one another with stone, that they don’t even have that courage and fit; whereas in reality, kids also get wild. So that kid went on to hit the other.

This is why common sense isn’t often reliable. Supposed instincts were trusted, the mess could’ve been avoided with an early and mature interdiction. Whenever and wherever common sense and instincts come head to head, just take apple for apple and go with instincts. Don’t be caged in egocentric predicament. After all, common sense is so common to flaw.


Kids are always right

When I say kids, my target is infants. Infants, until before they embrace another developmental stage of life, don’t exhibit corruption. They don’t lie too because lying is somehow corruption. Do anything to a kid, when they’re asked about it, they’ll say all what you did supposed they’ve the ability to say so.

They don’t pretend. Happiness is what you see on their faces when they’re happy, but vice versa. Should their moms come after them missing their moms, you’d see the immediate mood swings as they embrace them. Unlike adults who’d occasionally pretend so as not attract attention or the likes, but kids don’t know that. What’s in them is what’s translated outside. Have one and see if you already don’t have any. Hahaha. Pardon me.


There is more joy in grandparentage than parentage

For the fact that almost everyone wants a child, especially when the right time comes, the biggest undisputed reward in marriage is child. The feeling of having a child, especially through the right channel, in wedlock of course, can only be explained by people in marriage themselves.

Nevertheless, the joy that the grandparents of a particular baby feel is even greater. Perhaps this is due to the fact that, that particular baby is the extention of a particular people’s lineage, or maybe the first of their next generation. So these feelings are unmatched.

Try to hurt someone’s grandchildren, you’d see how mad they’ll get at you. You’d be appalled that their reaction will even exceed that of the kid’s parents, in most cases. That’s why there’s a Mandinka adage that translates to, “A child is a source excitement, but a grandkid is the extension of that excitement.”


Batou Saidy is a Public Health Officer and a writer. He’s studied public and environmental health at the University of The Gambia. He’s a football fanatic who integrates his profession with writing.

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