With Aisha Jallow
My last essay was about the life of a girl child and the inspiration for that essay was an article in The Standard Newspaper about parents who lie about the age of their daughters. The reason for that is that they want their daughters to be able to marry before the legal age of 18.
There is a reason why girls shouldn’t marry younger, but there seem to be too many reasons for why they should.
One of the reasons is poverty, the parents simply can’t afford to support all of their children. The easy way out is to marry the girl to a man who promises to take care of her.
Some men have had their eyes on the girls for a long time, and made friends with their mothers. We speak mostly about poor families, sometimes single mothers who struggle to find food for her children. The man comes bearing gifts like bags of rice, onions, cooking oil and other necessities. The mother, in her desperation, takes this like gifts of kindness and slowly but surely the man has weaved his “spider web” around the family. When they are stuck in his web, there is no way out. He has manipulated them to believe that he has done all this from the goodness of his heart. They are deep in debt of gratitude and find no way out from the situation.
With time the man is expecting something back. He hasn’t shown his true intentions before, but now it is clear what he wants. He has had his eyes on one of the daughters in the family and her age is none of his concern. The younger she is, the better for him, because then he can shape her in the mold he wants for a wife. He wants his wife to be obedient, submissive and caring for his every need. Her needs have no value in this case, because she is his property, more or less, and he will use his property any way he wants.
The girl will not be able to continue her studies, she will be taken from her home and into his home. She is expected to pay attention to everyone who is above her in age. She must wake up very early in the morning, and be the last one in bed. The hours between are filled with chores but the night will give her no rest. The man is requesting his marital rights, rights no one has explained to the girl and rights that are many times very painful for her. The girl, who was much too young to get married, is still a child. Her body is of a child as well as her mind. She is expected to behave like an adult in every way possible, but no one has explained to her what she was supposed to do. She is expected to understand that anyway, and the road to experience is narrow and filled with a lot of painful mistakes.
According to a study made by Unicef, over 118 million girls, all over the world, are not allowed to go to school. There are many reasons for that, not only the one above, but also the reason that families prioritise boys’ education. In many places in the world, it is extremly hard to be a girl. In most countries more girls than boys are dropouts. Many household chores like cooking, fetching water, taking care of younger siblings are on the girls. Every year around 12 million girls get married and 4 million suffer FGM, female genital Mutilation. Every twentieth girl has been exposed to rape.
In conflict affected countries, the number of girls that don’t go to school more than double compared to countries that are not conflict affected. As that wasn’t enough, many girls miss parts of their education, or drop out too early, when they get their menstruation. There are no clean, safe and gender separated toilets at the schools for the girls to use. The girls can’t keep themselves clean and fear to be exposed when they try to maintain their hygiene.
Many of the girls can’t afford to buy hygiene products, like pads, and have to rely on pieces of cloths or dry leaves. These leak and embarrass the girls, so they prefer to stay home instead. They have their menstruation for one week every month, so they will lose a lot of their education. How to explain to an angry, male teacher that she has missed classes because of her menstruation? Too embarrassing for the girls, so they drop out from school and are doomed to a life in poverty.
Unicef works hard to change the lives of children, in this case especially for the girls as they are more vulnerable than the boys. Girls who go to school run less risk of getting married as children, pulled into child labour or being affected by violence and abuse. Girls who go to school also have more opportunities to earn their own money and to affect their own lives and independence. Girls’ education strengthens the economies of both their families and their countries. It also reduces inequality. It contributes to more stable and resilient communities that give every individual – including boys and men – the opportunity to reach their full potential.
Unicef is working all over the world together with decision-makers, governments and collaborators to increase girls’ possibilities to have education and to strengthen equality. Unicef is leading in the development of water supply, sanitation and hygiene efforts. They are working on increasing and spreading knowledge, making sure that girls have access to proper and safe toilets at their schools and also access to menstruation products. Together we have an obligation to make sure that both boys and girls have the same rights and the same possibilities in life. One gender is not there to be a servant of the other, they should be equal and have equal rights. This is the only way forward for each and every one of us, and this is certainly the only way forward for The Gambia.
