By Alagie Saidy-Barrow
All the ministers were seated and waiting for the arrival of President Wally Ceesay-Drammeh. One minister, seated next to another minister whom he’s not too keen on, pretended to be busy on his phone. He’d lick his thumb, scroll up, pretend as if he’s reading something, shake his head and let out a loud sigh.
The minister seated next to him noticed his demeanor and was hoping he would say something to him so they can duke it out right there and then. Thankfully, before things could escalate, President Wally Ceesay-Drammeh ambles in, looking sleepy and breathing heavily.
Minister A-Z: Ladies and Gentleman, our dear leader, the greatest man this country will ever see, summoned us all here to discuss this GALA event.
Minister 0: We shouldn’t be wasting the people’s money on GALAS. These type of events…
Minister 1. This Russian Oil saga certainly does not require a gala event… I mean Youssou…
Minister 2. Our democracy is the best in the subregion. All these complaints are because this great leader here, this great and tolerant man, gave us…
Minister 3: So what are we going to do about this GALA event?
Minister 2. We should organise a solidarity march to counter them and…
Minister 1. No I suggest we infiltrate the leadership. Divide and conquer them. Find whatever we can find on the leadership and use it against them. Bribe them if we must..,
Minister 4. That sounds unethical and as a man of…
Minister 5. A man of what? Tell us! A man of what? If this GALA people succeed, all of us would lose our jobs and we will be just like other Gambians. Some of us may even go to prison and Mile…
Minister 1. Mile what… that Russian oil gala, I mean saga, is, I mean there were orders from the top. I am not the only one and it was a witch hunt. Besides, Prison conditions…
Minister 6. Relax Minister 1, relax honourable. No one is guilty of anything here and as long as we are in power, nothing will come out of any of this…
Minister 7. But didn’t they fire that minister who was giving himself contracts and…
Minister 8. Relax my honorable friend. We are building roads and making unprecedented and huge development strides. Most Gambians love us and it’s only a few who complain unnecessarily.
Minister 9. You know this Gala is sponsored by the opposition and foolish so-called activists. I saw that Madi guy…
Minister 2. Yes, I saw him too. Gosh I cannot stand him.
Minister 11. You used to support him Honourable.
Minister 2. Yes, that was before I became Honourable.
Minister 11. Our futures are at stake. Let’s mobilize our supporters to discredit these GALA boys.
Minister 12. I believe UP is behind this.
President wakes up! UP? Where? I was elected by coalition not UP. It’s not true.
Minister 1. Yes sir, we know that indisputable fact sir. We were discussing how to neutralise this GALA boys and I made the brilliant suggestion of infiltrating
Minister 4. And not all of us are comfortable with that idea because…
Minister 13. Comfortable? Did I hear you say comfortable? I’m also a pious person but this is not about religion. Can you get any more comfort than you do as a minister under this great leader?
Minister 4. Minister 13, I wasn’t talking to you.
Minister 15. We have our own youths and we can give the leaders per diem to organise a solidarity march or counter protest and…
Minister 16. Our coffers are low and we should not use what little we have to…
Minister 1. Don’t moralise here. GALA is an existential threat to our ministerial seats. We have to fight fire with fire.
Minister 2. I concur with that sentiment. Our democracy is the best and when you think about it, corruption is everywhere. This is the best government ever and these people are exaggerating our challenges and this great leader here deserves better…
Minister 6. So what should we do about GALA.
Minister A-Z… well, this is a national security threat so let’s give it to the security agencies and have the SIS take the lead.
Minister 4. Shouldn’t we try to address the root causes of the people’s dissatisfaction rather than the symptoms or whatever?
Minister 16. We are faced with funding challenges. As we speak, we are about to go on fund mobilisation and…
Minister 7. What does the great leader think?
President Wally Ceesay-Drammeh yawns, stretches and cracks his fingers.
What “do”you decide?
We agreed to let security forces handle the problem because it’s a national security issue.
Minister 4. But…
Minister A-Z. But nothing, meeting is adjourned.
While yawning, President Wally says goodbye and looks around for his secretary.
Call all my advisers for a meeting in my office.
What’s the agenda Sir?
Just call them, they’ll be happy to come.
