This subject is more or less taboo to speak about in many societies, but nevertheless we have this illness among us – even in our closest family.
When we speak about mental illness, we might think of someone a bit odd. Someone who is speaking to himself, or who hears voices in his head. There are many signs of mental illness, but it is sad that there is only one term in the English language for an illness that has so many variations. The word mental speaks about matters of the soul, in contrast to physical which speaks about matters of the body.
Matters of the body can easily be dealt with, matters we can see and find a cure to are not that embarrassing to speak about. When we speak about matters of the soul, we wish to believe that prayer will help us – if we are pious. If prayer is not the prefered method, we try to find others – like ignoring the symptoms. This method might help us for a short while, but not in the long run. By ignoring our soul, we begin to find physical symptoms like headache, high blood pressure or pain in various parts of the body. Migraine is a heavier variation of headache, and anyone of you who has suffered from migraine knows how hard that is. The head feels like it will explode, it can also feel like an iron band is tied hard around the scalp. Bright light pains the eyes and smells of food or perfume will increase the pain and can cause nausea.
When every-day life is haunting us, we tend to ignore any kind of symptoms, may they be about the body or the soul. We don’t have time to care about ourselves, and many times we also cannot afford to care about ourselves. The demands are too many, and the time to live up to all the demands is too short. Day by day, step by step, we keep on running in the wheel of life. If we are taught to ignore the health of our souls, we tend to not listen to the signs of warning until it is too late. We tell ourselves that “this is nothing. It will pass. Just keep on and try not to think about what bothers you.” If you are a man, you are taught to be the head of the family. You are expected to be strong and to care about all the others first and yourself last. A strong man doesn’t speak about emotions, right? A man doesn’t cry silently when he tries to fall asleep at night? A man can’t show weakness, otherwise he is considered weak and female?
Good heavens, if a man would show the softer and more considerate sides of himself! What If he suddenly would open up and speak freely about his emotions and his worries? Would that be so bad? Why are the female sides, the softer and more empathetic sides considered un-manly? Both men and women have emotions, we feel sadness, joy, mourn when we have lost a dear one. We worry about our families, our children, our health or the future. The tradition has told us how to manifest our emotions, but traditions evolve and so should we.
There are many reasons for why people suffer from mental illness nowadays. Soul-pain will be my own word for it, from now on. Being forced to search for a job, with low pay and long working days, pains your soul. A long and tiring commute to a job that gives you less than nothing pains your soul. Being away from the family most of the day, from very early morning until late in the evening, pains your soul. The kids are asleep when you leave the house, and they have gone back to sleep when you finally arrive at home. Your wife is tired, she has dealt with all the troubles at home on her own. You are too tired to talk and she wants to talk to you, but you are unable to listen. You move around your other half like two plus poles on a magnet. You belong together but are unable to attach.
This is so sad, and it hurts your soul. If you have been taught to never speak about matters of the soul, other than in pious matters, then how will you be able to solve your problems? Soul-pain has spread all over the world, it is a pandemic that slowly kills a society. There is a cure for this illness, and that is communication. Open up your soul, speak to one another about matters of the soul. Begin slowly and take small steps on the path to mental wellness. Speak to someone you can confide in, someone who keeps your words and will not spread them to others. You will find that person, try and you will see that this someone has been near you all the time.
I have read about the president’s tour around The Gambia. It has been very interesting to follow the progress, and I pray that this progress is true and not only beautiful words that sooths your ears. It is your soul the words, and/or promises should touch, because people suffer from poverty, from endless commute on lousy roads filled with potholes and broken bricks. People suffer from endless electricity breaks; fans are not working in hot and humid nights. Food gets wasted in fridges and freezers that are damaged because of the constant ons and offs of electricity. Businesses are unable to run, the internet cuts off and with that the reach out to the world outside The Gambia.
New and good roads are necessary for The Gambia to be able to evolve. Better buses for the commute are necessary, but as long as you don’t have enough roads for these buses the traffic will be completely blocked as we see every morning and every afternoon. Businesses need to be built and self-sufficiency of food is something that could have been created many years from now. Why is everything so slow in The Gambia? Praying for a change doesn’t help, we can pray while we work and not pray instead of working. Work is not only labour; work is something we can do with our brains. We must evolve ourselves as well as our country.
We can’t wait for someone else to fix things for us, this “someone” is you and me. We can fix things together, but we must communicate! We must speak with one another and listen to what the other part has to say. Ask your spouse, or friend, or someone else you have some kind of friendly relation with: “What can I do for you?” “What can I do to make you feel better?”
“What can I do to make you feel secure?” Easy questions, but somehow hard to ask. When we open up our souls to others, we will connect and begin to communicate. We feel togetherness and our souls will slowly heal. Every little step on the path to mental wellness is valuable.
